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Wednesday 29 August 2018

The First Appointment...

On Wednesday 29 August, we had our first appointment at the hospital to start our surrogacy journey. We were both so nervous as we had so many questions and didn't know what to expect. We signed in, I had my height and weight done and then we were shown into a room where we met the main man that deals with the process. He was lovely and straight to the point. He had my referral notes from Harefield that said why we were there and he went through medical information with us both. He straight away told us that he would be happy to help us!

He told us that there are 2 parts that need to be paid for: the first part was the expensive bit paying for the hospital to create the embryos which would be £7000-8000, and the second part would be paying for the embryos to be transferred into the surrogate which is around £2000. He is applying for funding for us for the first process but the second process is not funded so we will have to try and pay for that ourselves. We will find the money no matter what!

He said the process will take as long as we need it to and everything will be done when we are ready. The embryos, once fertilised, can be frozen until we are ready to use them. He also added that we will be given a counsellor who will help us with all the legal side of things as there are things that need to be drawn up and signed throughout the process between us, the hospital and the surrogate. He gave us 3 forms which involved 3 different tests and procedures that we needed to do before the next appointment - 2 of them were done straight away. The first was a blood test for me and from this, they can find out how many eggs I have. I showed them my best vein as I hardly have any due to the years of blood tests, lines, etc... and this was taken with no problems.

The next part was Josh's 'donation'. To produce his semen, the form said you had to not have any sexual activity for 2-7 days (no longer) and make sure everything was clean. It was a Monday-Friday walk-in clinic so I said why don't we go to the department straight away to save him coming back. He was given his pot and taken to a room. Without going into too much detail, he finished and came out and laughed all the way home! It was very clinical and the DVD provided was very out of date but at least thats done with.

The last thing was for me to do was for me to book in an ultrasound of my uterus. This will give a clear picture of where my uterus and eggs are and if the egg retrieval will be straight forward or more invasive. Since coming home, I have called and booked the appointment for middle of October as I am off work for half-term.

We have received our letter through from the hospital this morning with our next appointment which is Monday 29 October. That was perfect as it fell on one of Josh's days off and I will still be off on half-term. Result! At this appointment, we should find out if we have been given the funding, will get the results of mine and Josh's tests and see what the next stages are.

Exciting but nervous and hoping it all goes as smooth as it can. Until the next appointment.....

You Can't Carry a Child...

I have always known that it may be difficult, if not medically advised, that I should not and could not carry a child. I have always loved and worked with children and always spoken to friends and family like I would definitely be a mum one day. However, since turning 30 and me and Josh looking at houses and marriage in the near future, I wanted a definite answer.

I had a regular check up at Harefield in June and asked to speak to one of my main consultants so I could ask and get some answers. It was then that I was told no, they strongly advised that I do not get pregnant. I know many CF patients who have had babies and this just depends on how well you are, however, becoming pregnant once you have had a lung transplant is a different issue. If you become pregnant after a transplant, no matter if you are in good health or not, your antibodies will raise which can cause your lungs to reject. This is something that both me and my family do not want me to even risk. It would also be unfair and selfish for me to get pregnant and risk dying basically after everything that both me, my family, friends and medical team have done to keep me alive! So there is nothing I can do to change this situation.

At first, I spent a few days really upset. I really wasn't surprised by the answer but to hear it for definite makes it more final. My body failing me yet again. Josh was brilliant as usual with his response and said we would do whatever it takes and that he would be by my side no matter what. I know my family and close friends were quite relieved that I was given that answer as they didn't want me risking my health and want me as healthy as possible after everything.

Harefield had said they would refer me to a hospital that they work with so that we could have a chat and get some information on surrogacy. After a few weeks, the appointment came through and we were given a date for the end of August. Nerves and excitement then overtook the upset and disappointment. I never feel sorry for myself for too long and always try and find ways around things and this was just another hurdle to try and overcome!