You Can't Carry a Child...

I have always known that it may be difficult, if not medically advised, that I should not and could not carry a child. I have always loved and worked with children and always spoken to friends and family like I would definitely be a mum one day. However, since turning 30 and me and Josh looking at houses and marriage in the near future, I wanted a definite answer.

I had a regular check up at Harefield in June and asked to speak to one of my main consultants so I could ask and get some answers. It was then that I was told no, they strongly advised that I do not get pregnant. I know many CF patients who have had babies and this just depends on how well you are, however, becoming pregnant once you have had a lung transplant is a different issue. If you become pregnant after a transplant, no matter if you are in good health or not, your antibodies will raise which can cause your lungs to reject. This is something that both me and my family do not want me to even risk. It would also be unfair and selfish for me to get pregnant and risk dying basically after everything that both me, my family, friends and medical team have done to keep me alive! So there is nothing I can do to change this situation.

At first, I spent a few days really upset. I really wasn't surprised by the answer but to hear it for definite makes it more final. My body failing me yet again. Josh was brilliant as usual with his response and said we would do whatever it takes and that he would be by my side no matter what. I know my family and close friends were quite relieved that I was given that answer as they didn't want me risking my health and want me as healthy as possible after everything.

Harefield had said they would refer me to a hospital that they work with so that we could have a chat and get some information on surrogacy. After a few weeks, the appointment came through and we were given a date for the end of August. Nerves and excitement then overtook the upset and disappointment. I never feel sorry for myself for too long and always try and find ways around things and this was just another hurdle to try and overcome!